Orgasms: Achieved, Not Received

Here honey. You’ve been waiting for this.

I have been reading several articles over the past week here on Medium, and the general focus of these articles was sex. The specific focus of these articles was the female orgasm and I have encountered a recurring theme in them that I find bothersome.

By now, everyone should know that achieving orgasm through intercourse is not the easiest thing for females to achieve. This can be due to a myriad of reasons, whether anatomical, emotional, or spiritual. It’s just a fact that some women can climax a lot easier than others. But the reoccurring theme that I’ve kept banging my head into is the idea that women are ‘given’ orgasms by their sex partners.

I have encountered this in conversations over the years as well. It elicits an image of a man serving an orgasm to a woman on a platter. It also leads my mind to thinking that females are not being active participants in their own pleasure. When the truth is, a woman has to be highly active in order to achieve the pleasure they are looking for.

Orgasms aren’t all flowers and candy, scented candles, mood music and then voilà — orgasm. Orgasms take work. Not just emotional and spiritual attunement to your partner and the moment and the universe, but actual, physical, anatomical work.

And I’m not just talking about women. It isn’t a woman’s job to give a man an orgasm, but…